Attention-Environmental Bulletin-Attention
Your active assistance is needed for the survival of this exceedingly rare bird. When this bird arrives at your lawn, it is crucial that you transport it to the next lawn within a day or two. 
Its successful migration and, thus its survival depends on you.

Short-Hop Flamingo (Polyvinylchloride Pinkus)
(also known as the "Wireleg", "Mower Mangler", or "Sue's Bird".)
The Short Hop is an extremely rare species of Lawn Flamingo. Its tiny range is restricted to the Thirteen Hundred Block of Bishop Road in Grosse Pointe Park, Michigan. a quiet, backward community in North America. Being migratory, it spends its summers in the patchy, weed-choked lawn and seared bushes of 1311. There it feeds mainly on decomposing carcasses of daily newspapers flung there by the Albanian Jeepster.
But when the sky darkens and the day shortens, it begins the series of citizen-assisted relocations to adjacent lawns  that gives it its official name. It stays at each lawn only a few days at the longest, until the occupants of the residence associated with that lawn finally notice the instructions wired to its graceful neck, pull it up and insert it into the next lawn to the north. This jerky migration continues until it is blocked by the natural barrier of Charlevoix Avenue.  There, at the extreme northern edge of its range. it its most dangerous feat of this amazing itinerary,  the hazardous traverse east from 1387, across Bishop Road to 1386. If successful, the colorful avian reverses its flight and heads due south one lawn at a time, until it arrives at its winter range at 1312. There it joins the entire breeding population as it adapts to its hibernal diet; feeding on rubber bands scattered by postal workers.
This striking fauna is a beautiful enhancement to the Bishop Road biota: your cooperation can assure its continued existence.
Support Lawn Wildlife

Reported sightings:
Year 2000 Migration.

People Assisting Plastic Animals

Recent developments of the 

Flamingo Front.

Illustration: A flock of "wirelegs" mistaking a U.S. Senator for a postal worker.