You can be a dancing brontosaurus
in the Glimmer Twins chorus,
a terrorist, a therapist,
an expert on the clitoris,
go back to barter, protect Jimmy Carter,
write rubber rain checks,
run an obnoxious discotheque,
sell meat thermometers,
metric odometers,
snowmobiles to Eskimos,
leave marks that don't show!

You can preach self-reliance,
form an East-West alliance,
force strict compliance,
cure Herpes Simplex,
be a stooge for the complex,
get an MBA and an MFA take some MDA
and be MIA in the USA!
You can be a security advisor, a market analyzer,
a human breathalyzer,
some sweet thang's protector,
a short arms inspector,
a radiation leak detector,
a Soviet defector!
You can forewarn of the apocalypse,
make burgers out of beeflips,
do talk shows, trade quips,
one, two, shape those hips!
Be a military advisor to El Salvador,
believe in a winable nuclear war,
collect empties in the Cass Corridor!
You can join the CIA, get on MTV,
tell the little Gs and Bs how it's got to be!
Get rich in the struggle,
find something new to smuggle,
be a liar, a conniver,
a Tupelo truckdriver,
get real behind a laser,
locate a real and present danger,
be a major deal arranger!
oh, it gets stranger and stranger!
But I gotta tell you Honey,
don't let it break your heart,
but there ain't no money, Honey!
No Money in Art!

Jim Gustafson

Copyright; The Alternative Press